Leave it all

In the midst of stumbling through a million (well okay, maybe not that many) messages from students on Facebook, I was scrolling through our team's newsfeed and I was reminded that it was St. Catherine of Siena's feast day. I momentarily shrugged it off, and then was caught by surprise with the quote that accompanied the post. 

"He will provide the way and the means, such as you could never have imagined. Leave it all to Him, let go of yourself, lose yourself on the Cross, and you will find yourself entirely." 

In that moment, it was exactly what I needed to hear. In the moment of feeling overwhelmed by a million little messages with questions I needed to answer, an overflowing task list, and running on only a few hours of rest with a head cold coming on, I needed to be  reminded that it's not all about me. It's not about my team. It's not about the ministry we are doing. It is all about Jesus Christ. It is all about leaving it all. It is all about the Cross.

In our team's desperate attempt to love those we minister to, how easy it is to forget the inception of love shown to us upon the Cross. We think that we can go about loving others by our own strength, but we forget that we are fallible. Sure, Jesus loved others using His own strength, but we are not Jesus. We are not God. So what happens when we fail in loving? Or fail in our tasks? Or fall into sin? We become discouraged, distraught, and upset. 

That's where the wise words of St Catherine of Siena come in. In our failures, weaknesses, and sufferings, God will provide a way provided that we willingly leave it all to Him. We don't have to do anything of our own accord than look to the Cross, and lose ourselves there. Not only will we find ourselves there, but we will also be provided for by the One who has given it all already. 

Lose yourself entirely and you will be found. Leave it all to Him and He will provide and way. 

Breaking Every Chain

Our team is back in Ontario until the end of our ministry. To get to the end, we have returned to our beginnings, so to speak. Recently, we did a short afternoon of prison ministry, and my experience was incredible.


Walking in, I was nervous, for pretty obvious reasons. Besides this being our first time as a team doing any sort of ministry to full-grown adults, much less to those in prison, it's not exactly as though a penitentiary is known territory for me. After the security check, we walked into the chapel with nothing except the clothes on our backs, our lunches, and a singular Bible. Kind of like how these men have nothing, I thought.


Mike on our team gave the talk, and it was a very appropriate one, entitled The Greater Mercy. I had been praying about mercy and forgiveness that very morning, and had realized that I am very unforgiving, mainly of myself. You see, the world, our experiences, our selves, and the Devil will tell us, all of us, lies. The lies we choose to believe become our anthem without us ever realizing it, and before we know it, we take vows of how we will live according to these lies.


For example, a lie that I have heard is, "You only let people down," and the unwitting vow I had taken because of that was, "I will not disappoint." And so I have become hard and unforgiving of myself, mostly because I expect little more from anyone else.


But that sort of vow-taking becomes like a chain that we bind ourselves with. How is God to break our hearts of stone if we have locked them away from Him? There is no 'spiritual S.W.A.T. team' that will force our hearts into the vulnerable open. Yes, only He can release us from the chains we bind ourselves with, but only we can give Him the key.


I had been bound by these chains without ever realizing it until I went to a NET retreat when I was in grade 12. During the women's session, the female NET team members told all of us women on retreat that we were loved by a God Whose love is so unconditional that there is nothing we could do to make Him love us any less, and there is nothing we could do to make Him love us any more than He does right now. I was so moved by this truth, and during the prayer time I can firmly say that I felt God saying that He loved me, that my desire to please God did not disappoint Him. I was enough for God, and in this realization, my chains were severed. Through the grace of that 'small conversion', I have been able to go on NET and bring that love to others, and that brought me to bring that grace to these men in the prison, some of whom were not just prisoners in the literal sense, but prisoners of their hearts as well.


After our retreat there, I approached an inmate who was standing aloof by himself. I introduced myself, he did the same, and we began talking. Eventually, conversation led to me asking the question, "So, what is your faith background?" to which he replied with an explanation of his upbringing torn between a Muslim father and a Hindi mother, until his parents separated. His only religion now is love, he told me, insisting that institutionalized religion was simply not for him.


I explained to him then that the religion I profess had been like that for me growing up as well: not necessarily an evil or a huge turn-off, but simply a list of boxes to tick off to be a good person. Something to do so I would not disappoint. Then I explained that I had experienced God's unconditional love, how I was able to draw so much closer to this God Who loves me through the Eucharist, and how I am trying to form a relationship out of a religion.


This man was speechless.


He seemed to consider my words for some time, then nodded and replied, "I guess you're right." And he did not argue my point, or even try to brush it off as 'okay for you, but not for me'. In fact, I ended up giving him a meditation book on the daily readings of the Mass, which he accepted with a smile.


I expect with the wounds he has against religion that the journey to healing, to breaking the chains and the false vows, and to accepting God's greater mercy, will be a long one indeed. But that is the thing about these journeys; though they are long and arduous, they are always worth it. The cost of picking up your cross and following God is incomparable with the reward of being with God forever, because He loves you so much and an eternity without you is unbearable to Him. And you are worth it to God, which is why He laid His life down on that Cross for you. So I encourage you to find your vows, identify your chains, and give them to God so He can break them, and release you into His love.


The joyful truth is that we were not made to be prisoners of our own souls or of any lies or false vows, so it is high time we give ourselves freedom. It is time to break every chain.


Peace,

Samantha Wigglesworth

Encounter 2

Passer le flambeau

Cherchez plus tôt parmi vous, frères, sept hommes de bonne réputation, remplis de l'Esprit et de sagesse, et nous les préposerons à cet office; quant à nous, nous resterons assidus à la prière et au service de la parole.  (Actes 6:3-4)

Je lis cette parole dans ma bible depuis quelques jours et ça me reste dans la tête. Quand je lis cela, je pense à nos leaders de la Beauce.  Mon équipe et moi, nous sommes comme les apôtres; on passe partout en proclamant la parole de Dieu.  Les apôtres ne pouvaient pas rester à une seule place pendant  longtemps.  Alors, ils ont choisi des personnes à chaque endroit pour continuer à parler de Dieu. 

Mon équipe et moi, nous ne serons pas ici pour très longtemps. Alors, nous avons demandé à quelques-uns de nos jeunes de prendre notre place.  Passer le flambeau peut être difficile à certains moments car je n'ai plus autant de contrôle.  Mais en même temps, c'est tellement beau de voir les leaders trouver des idées pour les soirées jeunesse et vouloir prendre le contrôle.  Ils ont le désir et la volonté de poursuivre l’apostolat jeunesse. En voyant leur désir et leur volonté, je suis inspirée à pousser encore plus et à finir l’année d’une manière complète et forte.  

Dieu m'a appelée ici. Il appelle aussi les leaders à continuer la mission dans la Beauce.  La fin de semaine passée, on a eu une rencontre avec nos leaders pour planifier un événement d’apostolat jeunesse.  C’était incroyable de voir combien ils ont grandi cette année. Ils ont grandi non seulement dans ce qu'ils peuvent faire, mais dans aussi leur relation avec Dieu.  Après la rencontre avec les leaders, on a eu un temps de louange avec eux.  Il y avait des jeunes qui levaient leur mains, pleuraient et laissaient l'Esprit Saint agir en eux.  À ce moment-là, j'ai réalisé que je peux grandir dans ma foi et aider les autres à grandir dans leur foi en même temps.  Je jouais le djembe et la plupart du temps, quand je joue, il est difficile pour moi d'entrer dans la prière. Cependant, cette fois-là, c’était incroyable!  Chaque fois que quelqu'un disait ou chantait un mot, c’était exactement les mots que je voulais dire.  Ceci m'a reconfirmé pourquoi je fais NET.

Souvenez-vous de vos anciens dirigeants, qui vous ont annoncé la parole de Dieu.  Pensez à la façon dont ils ont vécu et sont morts, et imitez leur foi.'' (Hébreux 13:7)

Que Dieu vous bénisse!

Lisa

Les équipes NET

Ressusciter avec Jésus

Les derniers mois ont été incroyables, ici, en Beauce. Je n'ai jamais été dans une communauté aussi pleine de vie et d'amour. L'année est très exigeante, mais je sais que la récompense est beaucoup plus grande! Nous avons fait de nombreux événements pour les jeunes, animé des messes jeunesse et des soirées d’adoration, et même dîné dans des écoles. Notre équipe est en train d'essayer d'aller à beaucoup d’événements dans la communauté. La Semaine sainte était un temps parfait pour cela!

Je n'ai jamais connu une Semaine sainte aussi douloureuse, mais également aussi joyeuse. Notre équipe a assisté à chaque célébration et à presque chaque messe au cours de la semaine. Le soir du Vendredi saint, nous avons même eu l’occasion de marcher en silence avec un groupe d'environ 200 personnes d'une église à une autre avec une croix et des pancartes! En réfléchissant beaucoup à la mort et à la résurrection de Jésus, j'ai eu une grosse prise de conscience. Nous savons que lorsque Jésus est ressuscité, il est venu dans son corps glorifié. Cependant, pour nous sur cette terre, eh bien... nos corps humains sont périssables et faibles.

Ainsi en est-­il de la résurrection des morts. Le corps est semé corruptible; il ressuscite incorruptible; il est semé méprisable, il ressuscite glorieux; il est semé infirme, il ressuscite plein de force; il est semé corps animal, il ressuscite corps spirituel. S'il y a un corps animal, il y a aussi un corps spirituel. (1Cor.15: 42­-44)

Nous ne pouvons pas avoir nos corps glorifiés en ce moment, mais nous pouvons définitivement travailler à rendre notre âme propre. Jésus veut que nous devenions la meilleure version de nous-mêmes. Dieu veut que nous renoncions à chaque petite chose à laquelle nous sommes attachés sur cette terre afin que nous puissions tout simplement devenir plus conscients de l'endroit vers lequel nous nous dirigeons. Ce que nous possédons peut finir par nous posséder. Nous devons nous donner totalement au Christ.

En tant que catholiques, nous devons choisir de ressusciter avec lui et de devenir une nouvelle personne! Si vous voulez être changés par Dieu, vous ne pouvez pas oublier que vous avez d’abord besoin d'être crucifiés. Je dis toujours à nos jeunes que sans la souffrance, vous ne pouvez pas vous rapprocher de Dieu. Sans être crucifiés, vous ne pouvez pas traverser dans les portes du ciel. Avec tout, nous devons nous débarrasser de ce qui est en train de nuire à nos âmes pour pouvoir être ressuscités avec le Christ.

La Semaine sainte est un temps de renouvellement. Un temps pour renforcer notre foi en Dieu. J'ai dit oui. Oui, je veux être la meilleure version de moi-même. Je veux être plus affectueuse, fidèle, généreuse, patiente, pure, et sainte!

Que Dieu vous bénisse,

Josée

Les équipes NET 

God's call in my life

Playing pickle ball 

Over the past few days I have been focusing a lot on God's call, hearing that call and responding to it. You see, sometimes it can be really hard to know what God is calling you to, and for me, this has been something that I have been struggling with. But part of that is listening. There are so many things that can distract us from hearing God’s voice, and lent was a great time to reflect on this and try to rid myself of these distractions, and put God first. For myself, prayer is a time when I can become very distracted with other things, but my team helps me with that, by asking me about my prayer and how it is going. They hold me accountable and help me to continue to reflect on it and grow in it. There are many ways to hear God, and this past week I had asked God to help me to hear Him and to know what He wants.

He answered me by showing me. My host home had their grand daughter and her father over for dinner one night and God used this to show me myself and Him. I was the little girl and He, the father.

Having fun at a furniture store 

The little girl was 2 and had a bunch of energy. She constantly wanted to play and do things her own way. Her dad was always there, he was aware of where she was and what she was doing, but he let her go and play as she pleased. He would ask her to do things and help guide her in the right direction but never forced her. He let her learn what worked and what didn’t and was always there when she asked for help.  Towards the end of the night her dad asked her if she was ready to go and get ready for bed. The little girl said no and continued to play, ignoring him when he asked again. A few minutes later he told her to get her snowsuit on and she ran away. She could not see past the fun at grandma and grandpa's house, where as her dad could see what she needed--sleep.

Still having fun at a furniture store 

God is always there. He knows us and what we have done, are doing and will do. He knows what is best and wants that for us. He will tell us his will, but will not force it, it is our choice. Like the little girl I have the choice to listen to my Father, to choose His will or my own. His will is the one that is best for me, whether I want it in that moment or not. The little girl helped me to see that there are times when God is speaking but I don’t take the time to listen, I am distracted by the things in front of me and choose to focus on that.

God was showing me that it is my choice to hear and listen to him. Like the little girl’s dad, he will not force us to listen, it is a choice we must actively choose.

Thanks for reading and God bless 

Olivia from iNFUSE NORTH 

It's Not Over Yet

       It's getting to the point of the year where the end of our mission is in our sights, and often times consuming our thoughts. This has been making it difficult to stay focused on the present and to keep our eyes on why we are here, serving on NET. So at this point in the year, I've been falling short, losing my zeal and energy because I've felt like I've done all that I could do, that we've met all the youth we are going to encounter and that I just have to finish up the last couple months. But I was so wrong!

       Our team went to the My Generation Youth Rally in March and helped them out with a few things. We brought 7 youth with us to participate in the weekend. We thought that our group would be the only ones going to the rally from Swift Current but it turned out that there was a youth there from Swift Current that we had never met before. I was introduced to her and she told me that she didn't even know there was a NET team in her city. I was quite surprised. The thing is, her family doesn't attend Mass anymore, and we don't encounter her at the High School because we are confined to being in one classroom because it's a public school that isn't very open to our presence.

       After meeting this youth, I invited her to come to our high school youth group, and to my surprise, she actually came. She had such a great time at youth group that she told me she wanted to come to every youth night we have. Myself and another member of the team hung out with her at Starbucks not too long ago and she told us that she's really glad she met us and wish she had known about us sooner because she wants to get to know us and hang out with us more.

       The thing that really gets me about this is that I didn't realize that we could still make a difference and that there are new youth out there that need to encounter Christ through our help. I too wish that we could have encountered her months ago, but I see now that it's not too late to make an impact in this young person's life. We can still challenge her to love Christ and embrace the life of the Church in the next month we are here. We're leaving in a month but we plan to hang out every week until we leave.

As much as I think this youth needed to meet us, I think I needed to meet her all the same because if I hadn't, I think I would have lost even more strength and zeal for this ministry than I already had. It's not over yet. We're still here, we still have ministry to do, we still have youth to encounter. I'm not going to let the end of the year get into my head. I'm going to fight even harder to bring youth to Christ in this last month.

        Now I'll end with a beautiful quote from the beautiful Mother Theresa, “We may never know all the good that a simple smile can do”.

Blessing to you,

Hunter Norton

iNFUSE 1, Swift Current, SK

Caught in the Current

Time can seem to be the enemy these days.

Laura shares joy with a small group

We are already halfway through April, the second-to-last month of our year of ministry, and it often feels like time has lost its regular flow. Retreats, travel days, supplies runs, team days, all our one night stays in host homes--everything seems to either fly by, or else crawl past. This is the point where our team may become weary, where it may seem like we have nothing left to do but let life sweep us helplessly along... but there is so much more hope in store than that!

Envision a river that flows through an expansive forest glade. The river current does not have the same character all throughout the woods, however. At some points, it flows gently, meekly slipping over little pebbles and easily slipping onward. Sometimes it will become a cascade, falling and tumbling over rocks, bubbles of confusion forming before sweeping on. Occasionally a torrent will form, where all the water rips into a funnel of white foam rapids, and it seems like nothing that goes in will come out on the other side exactly as whole as it was before.

Corbin finds a quiet moment before the tabernacle

I once heard time described as this same kind of river. When the river is flowing gently, that is when we have time to breathe, to take in God's beauty and providence. This is a time of great spiritual richness and consolation, when we are able to bask in God's goodness.

Then the river of time begins to cascade, as complications in our personal or spiritual life arise, and problems seem to become more and more insurmountable. We are called to take greater and greater risks, like taller and taller waterfalls, which can leave us feeling almost breathless as we are hurriedly swept along.

Finally, the torrent: the really difficult points in our life. This is when we enter into a time of great pain or spiritual desolation, and all the circumstances of our life seem to sweep us along in a heartless current. Often the fear is that we will lose something during this time, that the pull of the water is so violent that there is no way we could make it through as whole as we were when we started out.

Our team prepares for team prayer: the strength of our ministry

Over the past month, I feel that our team has experienced all these currents on the river. For a few weeks in March, we were left reeling from an accident that our team got in that left our trailer totalled, many of our supplies damaged, and our team shaken (though nobody was injured at all--praise God and His goodness!). Personally, experiencing that torrent let me realize that now is all the time I have been given. I recently wrote in my journal: I am beginning to grow weary, but I will not pray that You will give me rest, Lord, but that You will give me the strength for louder battle cries and stronger fights. Now, of all the time I have been given, is God's gift to me, and no matter where I happen to be in the current, I must trust that God is riding this river along with me.

So I suppose that time is not the enemy at all, but a gift, a means by which God is letting me be swept closer to Him, swept up in His love.

Peace,

Encounter 2

One Month.

As you're reading this, our team in Weyburn is realizing that we only have one month until we leave this beautiful little town and drive back to big old Ottawa to say goodbyes. For some of us, our time with NET is over. For some of us another year with NET is on the horizon. However, no matter where next year will take us, chances are it won't be Weyburn and it certainly won't be just the six of us working together again. The year ending is bittersweet and busy. We're moving on, but we still have so much left to do. We're praying that time doesn't slip us by as we seek to carry out of mission with as much success as possible, Lord-willing!

Coming to Weyburn, I really didn't think I would become as attached to this place as I've become. You see, I'm a city girl. Big buildings, busy streets, and bustling sidewalks are what I've always had. Then I was plopped in a town of 10,000... just a fraction of what I'm used to. I was surprised how quickly I adjusted to life here, and not only adjusted but grew to love the small-town feel this place has. Everyone knows each other. People are willing to help each other out. People cry together and celebrate together. This town knows what community is and has gladly made me a part of theirs.

After Christmas break (which doesn't seem very long ago!) our supervisors asked our team why we decided to return to NET after our time at home. After thinking for a little bit, I responded "I fell in love." And it's true. I fell in love with someOne. I fell in love with Christ and the love of Christ I see in all the members of the community here in Weyburn. I came into this community with nothing to offer but myself, and have been given all that I need. I see Christ in the host homes that feed me and give me a place to rest. I see Christ in the volunteers that relentlessly lend a hand. I see Christ in the office staff who have become my second parents. This community shows me Christ in every single gesture of love, even if it's small. This community has shown me love that I've never experienced before.

Yet in a month I leave, we leave, to move onto whatever crazy thing God has planned for us next. I pray that I may be able to bring the love I've experienced here to those who I encounter on this crazy road.

In His Service,

Jillian, iNFUSE 2 Weyburn

"I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me."
Matthew 25:35

You Revive Me

“How are you doing today?”

This is a question asked daily in our office and, like a lot of things, has started to become normal.

After being placed on an iNFUSE team, I was so excited to be able to build strong relationships with young people that would hopefully lead them to a deeply-rooted faith in Christ. As St. Thomas Aquinas said; “To convert somebody go and take them by the hand and guide them.” I know for certain that my faith is only what it is today because someone chose to get to know me and guide me there. All I wanted, and still want, is to be able to do that for someone else.

After being so motivated for so long to join this mission, I never believed I’d see the day when so much of our ministry would go from exciting to normal. I never thought praising for an hour every day in the presence of our Lord would become unexciting, or that I’d get sick of so many praise and worship songs, or that I’d develop guitar calices on my fingers so thick that an iPod can no longer detect their touch. I knew that work or study could become menial, but for some reason I had the illusion that ministry could NEVER become that way.

Rachel's sisterhood (Rachel, Jillian, and Whitney enjoying a
team day in Moosejaw

I don’t know where I bought my rose coloured glasses, but somewhere along the line they have fallen off. I find myself asking God to give me the same zeal that I had at the beginning of the year, when I couldn’t wait to get to know people, when I was so ready and willing to do whatever it takes to bring someone to Christ.

All too often I get to the end of the day and I didn’t get a chance to call that student to hang out, but I made a bunch of calls to retreat centers and school teachers. When my heart desires to sit down with a cup of tea and hear of what God is doing in my sisters’ personal prayer, I find that my lunch break comes and goes, and whilst I may have finally responded to that important ministry email, I’ve missed my chance to grab the hands of those around me and gaze towards our creator.

After avoiding this song for a long time out of fear of normalcy, I felt led to play You Revive Me in team prayer today, and I fumbled my pick when I actually took in the words of the chorus:

You revive me, You revive me, Lord

And all my deserts are rivers of joy

You are the treasure I could not afford

So I’ll spend myself ‘til I’m empty and poor

All for You, You revive me Lord.

In the wake of Jesus’ resurrection, I have been asking Him to bring new life to all of the tasks that have become normal, to all of the things that I desire, deep down, but have no energy to do. Through prayer, God is helping me to see that by pointing any task’s intention toward heaven, it can go from ordinary to extraordinary. In doing that, God will be able to do everything that he needs to do in the hearts of those in Weyburn, whether He chooses to let me see the fruit of it or not in the little time we have left here. After all, "He doesn't ask us to be successful, he asks us to be faithful." (Mother Theresa)

In learning to rely on God’s strength rather than our own, we can return to asking,  “How are you doing today?” out of sincerity rather than habit, and hope that people will see the face of Christ in that small, daily surrender.

Ad Maiora Nata Sum

Rachel Hennessy,

iNFUSE Team 2, Weyburn SK

Heavy Cross, Rising Light

Painting at the Pure Witness house in Saskatoon

“This is the deep breath before the storm,” muttered Gandalf to Pippin in the Return of the King movie. If Pippin was an allegory for Encounter 1, then Gandalf would be correct in saying so. We are about to experience eight days without leading a retreat proper. And yet, the great storm is Christ’s death and resurrection that, although occurring centuries ago, will be commemorated in a significant way in the following days.  It is when Catholics especially rally in awe, repentance and thanksgiving for the miracle of our salvation that goes beyond all time. Imagine, in one perfectly loving sacrifice, Jesus becomes the bridge between humanity and God. We are eternally grateful for the bridge of the cross.

Crucifixes are religious art pieces that as a Net team we have ample opportunity to see.  An early observation I had was the difference between the average representation of Christ in art between southern and northern Ontario. In southern Ontario Christ is shown as muscular, strong, willing in sacrifice and majestic. This was especially the case in a given parish in Toronto and in the Stations of the Cross at the shrine of the martyrs. Up north on the other hand, Christ was shown as frail, thin and vividly carrying the weight of all sin upon his shoulders. Venture out west into BC, and you’ll find crucifixes that are life size common place. Christ here is shown relatable to even proportion. He was the God man that truly suffered and felt human pain.

One of the first charismatic Christian songs I ever heard, and that we sing often as a team, is “Here I am to worship” by Chris Tomlin. A line that has always struck me in the song was:

“I’ll never know how much it cost, to see my sins upon that cross.”

…it is true. I will never comprehend the full burden of God’s free sacrifice for my sins. As a team we watched the Passion of Christ film for Good Friday which highlights the heavy suffering Christ’s journey towards Calvary. At the end of the film however, the glimpse of the resurrection shows Christ’s shroud falling softly as if His body had dematerialised. Christ so absolutely desired our salvation and new life in Him that he rises with ease and power, a light contrast to His Passion, and He reigns as the Light forever.

My family and team, Encounter 1, have strived to emulate Christ’s time in the desert (even if it is to the smallest degree) so as to be as ready as possible for the paschal mystery. The great hope of Easter is that our Lenten sacrifices help us love God and others more, as well as life itself.

Jesus, you are the saviour of our past, present and future. That is why we will continue to do your work and our mission.


-Francis Nowak